People who suffer from depression may experience fatigue, hopelessness, tired, and exhaustion. Some other people may experience irritable, thoughts of death or suicide, lack of concentration, or lack of energy. All of these symptoms are caused by abuse-past physical, sexual, or emotional abuse, certain medication-some drugs used to treat high blood pressure increase the risk of high blood pressure, conflict-personal conflicts or family conflicts, death or loss-sadness or grief from the death or loss from a loved one, genetics-a family history may increase the risk of depression, major events- new hob, graduating, getting married, moving, etc., or a serious illness.
It has been proven that both counseling/therapy and Antidepressant Medication was effective mainly for the people who were suffering from depression. Although, Counseling/Therapy is more effective than the Antidepressant Medication, I feel that patients that are suffering from depression should be treated with medication especially if some of their symptoms are very severe. Many professionals have said that both counseling/therapy and antidepressants are more effective by working together as one.
One of the biggest issues about psychotherapy that there are not enough of experienced therapists that are able to treat these patients that are suffering from depression. You can go to a therapists that is less experienced and has no skills, but you are just wasting your time and money but you wouldn't improve on your depression. Medication would actually work and may improve on your depression instead of going to therapist that is less professional. Antidepressants can help with the symptoms of depression and will allow you to make life changes.
Teens or anyone who is suffering from depression should be treated with either counseling/therapy or medication or maybe both. Although medication would most likely to help relieve some of the depression symptoms that you are suffering from. By taking medication or antidepressants it would be more effective and you wouldn't waste your time unlike going to a unexperienced therapist.
Hey kiana,
ReplyDelete:D my sporty buddy
Intro: good job on your intro. You started your essay off nicely, you talked about depression and gave a small summarization about it. I don't really see any grammar problems. One thing you need to add is your thesis: create one sentence that says which side you'll be defending.
Body:
1st paragraph: This is a good paragraph on the causes of depression. But this would be better to include on your intro since your body should be you defending your side of the pro/con.
2nd paragraph: For this paragraph, you need to break it up into two. One should be you, defending your side (medication or therapy) and the other should be you talking about your opposing side (therapy or medication) but not fully defending it.
3rd paragraph: Good paragraph. You were doing pretty well defending the therapy side but then you added the part about medication being good. Like i said on the 2nd paragraph, break it up into two. Talk about one thing (therapy) and then on the 2nd talk about (medication).
Conclusion: " Teens and anyone who is suffering.." change is to "are". Nice, on this paragraph, i can tell that you were defending medication. So for this paragraph maybe put "Therapy …… BUT medication is a better treatment because ….."
Overall, nice job.. No spelling or grammar that i saw.. Just needs work on organization.
-Rebekah
Hi Kianna
ReplyDeleteYour essay is good but it seems a little out of order? I think something that could strengthen your essay is adding transitions to each paragraph. Also I think you should make it more clear about what your going to talk about in each paragraph before you start. I also agree with Rebekah that you should break apart your pro and cons. In some of your paragraphs it seems like your mixing them together but what you should do is make it clear that your for... and your against... Another thing is, just like my essay, in your second paragraph you can try to consolidate your symptoms and just put the most important ones. I figured out that when you put to many symptoms like that people tend to just skim through it so make it sweet and simple :) I'm not the best person to ask about grammar so I'm not going to say anything about that :P and I think thats all... Hope this helped, Rebekah covered most of it, and Good luck on your revision.